Maybe This Will Work

In the previous three posts I talked about this drive within us to control the outcomes in life. I completely understand that territory. When I found myself burnt out a few years back, and then made my way through a time of renewal, I held onto my preferred outcomes. I was so burnt out from ministry that at the beginning of my Sabbath I tried to steer the process in the direction of something new, anything new, for my life. Wherever this break all led it had to lead to something new. I worked on a new resume for a job in any other field than ministry (which is a hilarious process for someone whose whole "career" had been ministry), hoping it would lead to an escape route that would prove to be the right solution for my aching soul. If God really was going to have me continue in ministry, then I allowed myself to daydream about different ways I could do ministry, and different places I could do it without returning to my old job. I genuinely wanted to help God restore me, and I wanted to control it by “greasing the skids” on a process that would ultimately lead to me saying “goodbye” to the job that had left me burnt out, and saying “hello” to some new adventure.As I sat in the haunting stillness of 6 months of Sabbath my mind flailed for control. “Maybe this . . . “ or “maybe that . . .” dominated my thinking. I had accepted God’s invitation into Sabbath because He’d promised to renew me, but I wanted to speed up the process, and I wanted to define what the final outcome of my renewal would look like. In some strange way it felt safer if I was the one who controlled these factors. As Sabbath time progressed I slowed down to the point that I could realize I really couldn’t manage God, or the end result.  Yes, God had promised a good outcome, but I was not in control of how He would produce it, when He would produce it, or what it would actually look like when I got there. Are you waiting on God to do something important in your life while trying to control the outcomes? How do you think that's going to work out?